Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My computer needs a new motherboard...won't be writing anytime soon.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Minister's Wife

I am not sure how many of you have seen Borat, but my husband likened experiences we have been having with our girls over the last few years to this scene:


Borat: [indicates women beside him] In my country, they would go crazy for these two. 
[points to minister's wife] 
Borat: This one... not so much... 


It would seem The Bear is the minister's wife. Don't get me wrong, she is beautiful and an amazing little person but for some reason, The Zaz attracts all the attention. People stop us constantly to admire her haircut, hair color, adorableness, etc. even with her sister standing right there. I have countless examples of this since Zaz's white blonde hair grew in and she learned to giggle and bat her eyelashes at any willing passerby. 

While on vacation, an older gentleman stopped me and pointed to Zaz, who was shoulder to shoulder with Bear:

Nice Man: You are going to have trouble with that one in about 12 years.
Me: Smile
Nice Man: I have been there with the blonde hair blue eyed girl. Look out.
Me: Even worse, she is a twin so we will have two of them. 
Nice Clueless Man: Blah blah look out, She is going to be a looker chuckle chuckle
Me: Yes, and just think we will have two beautiful teenage girls.
Nice Man (finally snapping out of his oblivion): Oh, yes all of your children are adorable. 
Me: Smile


This theme is very common and I experience it regularly but my husband doesn't because he normally has one at a time for "special dates" or we are all out as a family.  Today he took both girls out for a breakfast date.  He had the pleasure of experiencing something like I do every time we head out. 
Person to Zaz: Oh look at you and your beautiful bow! OH and THAT Hair oh my
Hunk: Smile
Person: Oh my gosh isn't she cute?
Hunk referencing the Bear: Yes, and her sister has a cute headband on, too.
Person: Oh yes.
Done. 


I think some of this probably sinks in for The Bear and worry that  if this is a continuing trend, her self-esteem may be impacted in the long run. It probably doesn't help that Bear is socially more cautious and more challenging. She doesn't warm as easily to people and never has (right before 7 months, she started with separation issues. Our pediatrician jokingly said she was gifted b/c of it). People naturally favor Zaz b/c she is easier over all which is really difficult to watch as a parent.  Even when some people visit, their favoritism is evident (and heartbreaking).  


My husband and I joked about how we can respond to these situations. 
Our response to a couple admiring Zaz could be something like this:
Couple: Oh Honey, look at her and that hair! Isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen?
Us: Thank you
Couple: She is so cute! Look out!
Us to the woman: You are gorgeous
Us to the man: Not so much 
And walk away. 


How would you handle it?



Saturday, August 21, 2010

Touche

We went to a party yesterday at the home of a work friend of my husband. One of the guys commented on how great The Hunk's new tattoo looks. Thinking I was funny, I said, "Yes, if you like that sort of thing." To which he replied,"Yes I do" and pointed to his leg where he had the exact same tattoo. I then looked around and realized that I was surrounded by men with the exact same tattoo and should probably keep my wise cracks to myself.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Keyboard

I am taking my computer ˆn tomorrow. Let me just say t˙ˆs:

I cannot stand †˙at my computer ˆs not ∑orking properly. It makes ˆt very difficult †o do µy freelance writing ∆ob, no? Óelp!!

T˙is is w˙y I am not writing µuc˙!

A

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Language Development

One of my favorite things to watch develop in my children is language. From the first goos and coos to the first words my heart soars with joy and love for the incredible little people in my life.  One of the joys of parenting twins has been watching my girls make their way through each stage of development in their own time. How differently these little people approach everything amazes me.

Bear accomplished all milestones before Zaz though both are on target developmentally. Now that they have acquired most of their language and sounds, Zaz is more ahead in the sense that Bear still can't say k and g sounds in words. So, I am working with Bear on tongue placement to create the sounds  . If she wants candy***, it comes out tandy and she sounds like Buckwheat when she says Okay.
This is what we have been doing:

Bear: I want to play a dame.
Me: You want to play a g-g-game?
Bear: g-g-g dame
Me: Try again
Bear: g-g-g dame
Me: dreat! You dot the g sound (I don't really say it like that)

Some times what she says is not as obvious. For example, tonight she asked to read the dumb book. I paused and was clearly confused. Before I could give a mini-lecture on not saying the word dumb:
Bear: gdumb
Me: gum?
Bear: Yes, ggggggdum
I racked my brain and realized she meant Alexander and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day because (not to ruin it) Alexander gets gum in his hair.
We've been working on the sounds for a while now and she is trying so hard to get it right which gets her lots of kudos!

Tonight, I had a conversation with Zaz:

Zaz: You member the piggy glasses I weared on (va)cation?
Me: Piggy glasses?
Zaz: P-p-p-piggy glasses (see side picture)


Have a great night!
A
**** Not that I EVER give my kids candy

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Speaking in Code

My computer lost t˙e ability to type certain letters. So I will not be posting until I get ˆt figured out. Until t˙en, ˙øpe you are ˙aving a ©ood weekend!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Organization Part 2

I just got a call from my friend, K, from Organization Part 1. She has no recollection of the conversation detailed in the post. I find this very convenient but that aside, we did have a good laugh over this particular move. You see, I was only moving to another apartment on the same street so we actually put my mattress on the roof of my car and one of us drove while the other one held onto the mattress. This is, of course, another perfect example of how I was too unorganized to have anything to hold down the mattress except, of course, my girl, K!

So back to things having a home.... I could not keep things organized when it was just me and my dog, Logan but add toys to the mix and it is not looking good. Toys in our house seem lost and always searching for a home. Because I recognize this as a huge problem, when we recently went on vacation, our wonderful sitter stayed with the dog and the house. Her assignment was to take toys out of circulation that the kids seldom play with. When we got home I went from room to room and was appalled. Super Sitter had not done what we asked which was strange because she is super reliable. The next day when I was returning my suitcase to the attic, I walked into the spare bedroom that leads into the attic. Before me was 5ft by 3 ft of toys that had been pulled from the rooms. First, I couldn't believe I ever doubted Super sitter (Forgive me, Em!) and second, I couldn't believe the reality that my children have so many toys that I did not even notice that these were gone.

Where did we go wrong? How in the world did we wind up with this many toys in the spare room and with loads STILL in the bedrooms and playroom? We seldom purchase toys for the kids and when we do, it is items we know they will love.  We have begged people to give money toward college funds and last year even tried to have people donate money to a cause we believe in  but only one family went along with it. Everyone else said, "How could we possibly show up at a two-year old bday without a gift?" Um very easily, folks, Haven't you seen all the JUNK we have???"

In our playroom we have two little closets that we can store things in. One of them is Buddy's workshop which is filled with tape, scissors, cardboard and other recyclables. The other one stored books so I recently made a book corner in the playroom and am  now working on highlighting a different toy or group of toys each week. So, this week  I created a hair salon and Buddy and the girls have had a blast with it.  I think next week I am going to make a Little People village or a workshop with all the tools we have.

This is one of my first steps at organizing the toys. So I would suggest following these steps:
1. Pull toys not played with
2. Highlight toys that the kids use but not that often to make them exciting
3. Accept that the plastic has taken over your home.

More organizational tips to come from the LEAST unorganized woman around.

A

Whiny Wednesday

I don't know if there is less whining going on but I do know that I have been called ma'am numerous times this week by Aidan, have not had to clear any plates from any meals and have not had any demands for cotton balls since the first few days. AND they filled up their little jars countless times and filled the entire jar up with cotton balls which led to a group reward! We had a late night (6-8 PM) swim at our pool last night which was loads of fun! I played shark with all the kids which made for a wonderful evening filled with giggles.

So, I need to explore some other options for dealing with the whining. The mean mama in me wants to take away cotton balls for whining but that doesn't seem fair. I guess I will just have to do some research and figure out another whine stopper.

 Hope you are having a good week!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Organization Part 1

I have a confession to make. My lack of organization has nothing to do with my having three kids. It really has to do with my brain. I swear the stinking thing does not believe in organization AT ALL. You see, organization is not my strong suit. Anyone who has ever lived with me or opened a closet, cupboard or drawer in my home can attest to this sad fact. I am going to spend a few posts making up excuses for this huge flaw of mine. I am lucky because I have been given suggestions through the years from loved ones: everything must have a home,  clean-up and put away as you go and have the kids help.

Everything must have a home:

I totally get this concept and strive to make it happen BUT since I don't pick up as I go, it is very difficult. Let's just say the house is a disaster (everyday but 2 days each month), I don't usually allow myself enough time to clean up on any given day whether we are having someone over, the cleaning people are coming or we are moving.  As a result,  I just start shoving things any place there is space that people (hopefully) won't see.  Let me give you a real life example of this. Once, in my single days, while moving, one of my dearest friends, K, was helping me move. I was shoving random things that I had not put "in their home" into my pockets. I looked up to see her with a disgusted look on her face. Seriously, disgusted because she is SUPER organized. You know the type. She LOVES lists.

Me (in my sweetest voice): What?
K: Are you freaking kidding me?
Me (in my most wounded voice): What?
K: You are just shoving sh$# in your pockets rather than putting it in a box or something?
Me: Not a good idea?
K did an eye roll, head shake and left the room. I continued shoving.

So the problem is obviously multi-level but the struggle is stopping the cycle. Where does all this random stuff go that is weighing me down both figuratively and literally? Once I shove things in my pockets, a basket, a closet or drawer to get it out of sight, it is just too overwhelming for me to look at let alone organize so I don't.  Then suddenly, every inch of my home is totally unorganized.

And so, I am now trying to get this under control once and for all.

A


Friday, August 6, 2010

Using My Teaching Skills

This week I decided to do lessons with my kids everyday. I do have my MEd in Reading so it would make sense that I would apply some of this knowledge and these skills to my parenting. I shared this with my loving husband and the conversation went something like this:

Me (In need of positive reinforcement and kudos): The kids had so much fun today doing the activities. Isn't it great? (Translation: Tell me how amazing I am as a mother and educator)

Hunk with a big mischievous smile: It's about time you use your masters.

Me: Seriously?

Well, that didn't go exactly as I hoped but at least he acknowledged that I am using my degree.

Anyway, we have dappled in journal writing this summer but I am not terribly consistent with activities of this sort and haven't a clue where the journals are at this point. So, this week I scrambled each morning to come up with a fun activity to do with the kids that would some how be multi-level since Buddy is on his way to kindergarten and the ladies are only going to be in 3s at preschool. It actually brought me back to my days of teaching when I would not have planned as well as I thought leaving me  scrambling at 7 am to put together the best lesson possible. Just like when in the classroom, I was surprised by how much the kids and I enjoyed it. It was fun, stress free and gave me that charge that teaching always did. We did songs, pictures, practiced writing, made pom pom animals and read many books. The first day went something like this:

Me: Who wants to read a book with me?
Zaz: Why is it time to go to sweep (sleep)?

Okay, I must admit that in my mind I am thinking that this is not off to the best start. Surely, I read at other times throughout the day. Don't I?

So then we read a very basic book about bugs which Buddy was able to help read. The book had lots of picture cues and was great for an early reader. Next we made pom pom animals which required using a hot glue gun which I let Buddy use on his own. I know! I know! It is dangerous and the package of the gun probably said that it wasn't to be used by children under 10, but it makes him feel like such a big boy. And it doesn't hurt that much when you get burned. I should know; while gluing Zaz's beautiful ladybug's head on, I burned myself:

Me: Doggone it (don't judge me, folks. I know this is an absurd expression but I nearly said something that was very offensive).
The Zaz: There's a dog on it?

Day 2 went very well also. We did a song about bugs and colors which  provided practice with rhyming, colors and writing. Each of them had a chance to pretend to be a bug hiding under the rug (a blanket) which they came up with on their own. These type of activities are such a great reminder to me that my kids are all so different. The Bear and Buddy both understood that their pictures and sentences were to be from the poem but sweet Zazzy doesn't really understand rhyming so the whole time she kept saying the bug was under the carpet. Now, carpet is a great vocabulary word but doesn't rhyme with bug.  Since she is so cute, I just let it go and her colorful bugs were hiding under the carpet.

Day 3: Aidan was over it. When I said it was time to "play school", he melted down and said he didn't want to do it. I didn't feel like fighting the battle but reminded him that type of behavior was not cotton ball worthy. The girls practiced writing letters and I read books (tons of them and it wasn't even time to go to sweep!). Then I became the student and they became the teachers. Aidan peered in regularly to see what we were doing and finally joined us.

After he was in the playroom for all of 10 seconds, I realized he had no interest in what we were doing. He was trying to lovingly talk me into letting him use my computer.  I told him he could use the computer after he did one activity for me that involved reading and writing, and 15 minutes of computer games of my choice. Once he completed these tasks,   he could go to the Legos website and stare at all the Star Wars ships he wants. It worked well, he surprised himself by reading a few of the words I introduced to him on Day 2 and he even earned a cotton ball or two for his effort.

Today we are taking a mental health day from mom's school.

Have a great weekend!
A

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Applying for Jobs Part 2

I just discovered something very entertaining and Miss Molly suggested I share it. I have been using the same resume for a few months now and thought it was a decent one. After all, I get calls and emails though things have been a bit slower than usual. Tonight I applied to a job that required a resume upload and then it showed the resume to allow you to make sure it looked the way you want it to look.  Well guess what? Mine didn't.
I wrote my resume using a template but for some reason didn't realize it until I saw this:


«First» «Last»
«Address»
  «Address» «Address»
T «Phone»

Just like that on the top of my resume. I never put in my information.
Of course, this explains why a potential employer told me that she couldn't find my phone number anywhere on my resume. On a not so funny note, I really wanted a job I applied for today that looked great! And I am sure they won't consider me with my obvious typo. Oh well! 

Oh and you know the whole deal with me thinking yesterday was Wednesday? Well, when the potential employer from yesterday told me she would be able to talk with me over the phone any day but Thursday, I told her Friday would work for me because I thought that was my only option for this week. 

Anyone Know Anything About Fundraising?

I have an amazing new friend, Jill. We met one time last fall and then didn't see each other again until April. The reason for the 8 months in between visits is that between our initial meeting and  seeing each other in April, her now 2 year old daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer.    
Jill has become a very important person to me through our sporadic visits, me stalking her blog, and our chats via email. As a result,  I feel very strongly about helping her sweet family (are you blushing, Jill? I love you to pieces:) ).
As Evy undergoes treatment to kick cancer's a&*, they shouldn't have to worry about medical expenses.   Right now, I am planning a fundraiser for them but honestly have never done one (Don't worry, Jill! I promise to pull it off)! I volunteered and helped with one during my days with RESOLVE  but nothing beyond that. So, if anyone has any suggestions, they would be appreciated.What I have so far is a band to play at the fundraiser and a local photographer  and in-home bakery willing to donate things for a silent auction or raffle. I still need more items for silent auction and a venue. Any suggestions on how to pull it off or better yet anyone want to help?  The money earned from the fundraiser will go to them through an amazing organization called The Cure Starts Now and therefore is tax deductible.

Who wouldn't want to help this happy little face?

Yesterday's Post

So, yesterday was Tuesday not Wednesday which I am sure you all realized. I spent the day thinking it was Wednesday which is why I called yesterday's post "Whiny Wednesday"! I am actually giggling at the absurdity of it but I always say that as a stay at home mom, I really don't know what day it is because they are all the same!!

Andie

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Whiny Wednesday

Here we are and it is time for an update on how I am dealing with the whining. I decided to start a reward system that involves each child having a cup that will be filled with cotton balls. When the cup is filled to the top,  they get a reward. Then at the end of the day, the cotton balls in the individual cups will go into a group jug which will help them earn a group reward like all going out for ice cream.

I introduced it yesterday morning. I presented each of the whiners with a cup to decorate which had his/her name on it.  This would seem like a simple, yet exciting moment when they realize there is potential to be rewarded for good behavior.  This is how it played out:


I told my buddy what we were going to do with lots of enthusiasm and he started whining that he did not like the idea AT ALL  and threw himself down on the couch and began to cry.

Then I explained it to The Bear who seemed to be on board. The oldest of the whiners (buddy) finally came around and decorated his cup along with The Bear.
Can you tell I just cleaned the kitchen? No, seriously that is clean.

While all of this was going on, The Zaz was upstairs cleaning which means she was just piling things on surfaces like shelves and into bins. Helpful in some ways but not so helpful in others especially when you are dealing with dirty and clean clothes. Anyway, she came down, saw the cups and I explained the process to her. When we got back upstairs, I complemented her on her hard work and told her she would be getting cotton balls for being such a good helper. It went like this:
Me: You did such a great job helping up here! I am so proud of you. I am going to put some cotton balls in the cup!
The Zaz: And then I get to eat them?

Before I could respond to this question, The Bear said she wanted cotton balls so I told her she could have some if she helped and gave her some options of things to do to help.
None of them seemed to interest her because she started whining that she wanted cotton balls immediately which eventually turned to demanding screams.

We are off to a great start over here!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Applying for Jobs

Half of my followers (2 of you!!!) have expressed an interest in hearing more about the hows and whys of applying for jobs I have no intention of taking.  This will require a great deal of background information so bear with me...

When the hunk and I met and started dating, I expressed my desire to be a stay-at-home mom once I had children (of course, in my mind I was thinking when WE have children). He said he didn't think that it would make me happy. Being as crazy as I am, I quickly went from fantasizing about the children we would have together to thinking, "Who the heck does this guy think he is? He has known me for all of two weeks and he knows what I want out of life?" It has been over 12 years since this conversation and I still feel a bit annoyed by it...so I have some issues letting go of things...Anyway, he was right.

I am a stay-at-home mom and have been since Buddy was born in 2005, but I am always searching for something more. I started my MEd in 2005 and finished it a month before my girls were born in 2007. This was one of the best times in my stay-at-home mom days. I was challenged intellectually, had something for myself AND was able to hang with my little man. When my girls were born, I was consumed with my children for some time. Honestly,  I was drowning in screaming babies, tantrums and, what felt like, numbness of the brain. I fantasized about having papers due that I would get an A on.  I mentioned to the hunk that I thought maybe I should get my PhD which was greeted with the suggestion that we pay off my masters first.  I hate when he is right. That was when I wound up beginning the search.

Let me go off on a quick tangent.  I do love my whiners dearly but being home with them is really not easy for me. My husband travels about 6 months out of the year so I am often alone for days at a time without seeing another adult. If someone gets sick during this time period, forget it! I am stranded and have a tendency to not reach out as much as I should for fear of seeming needy. This of course leaves me appearing strong. While I am strong, I am also desperate for intellectual stimulation*.  Back to the topic at hand....the search  or should I say searches?

It started at the height of my parenting stress. I don't remember the day specifically but am pretty certain I was alone with the kids, had a stressful day and got on the net. I know it began because I  started imagining what it would be like to do something in addition to diapers, breastfeeding, and tantrums. It started innocently enough but then I began spending a great deal of time on craigslist, career builder, indeed and monster. I started searching and searching for anything in the education field.  In the height of my stress, I was applying for up to 10 jobs a week. Some times they would be jobs that I would never have a shot at and sometimes they would be perfect. I have filled out countless online forms, completed online interviews, phone interviews and even a few face-to-face interviews. I have received emails from companies asking if I am still interested in the position for which I applied a month before only to have no recollection of what the company or job is because there have been so many applications since then. I have actually gone on craigslist in all major cities and selected "telecommute" to see what comes up of interest.

My applications always come to a halt when someone I love suggests I should stop. For example, when going on and on about a curriculum writing position that would have been perfect, my husband reminded me that he was about to leave for an extended business trip and that we had twins I was exclusively breastfeeding and a 3 year old, that all three of them would require childcare and that it might be hard to be an hour away from them everyday. Did I mention I hate when he is right?  I was disappointed and let the company know that I would not be able to go for an interview.

I backed off on the job applications for a bit and then it inevitably started again. I remember being at a playdate and mentioning that I had applied to numerous jobs the night before and 2 of my friends chuckled and asked where in the world I found all these jobs. I am still pretty sure they were laughing at how crazy I was. This particular phase of job searching did find me some freelance writing for www.education.com and then a job as an au pair coordinator*.

About six months ago, I was applying like crazy. I got an email from the director of some organization letting me know they were very interested and was I? Of course, I had no idea who she was or what she was talking about. Then the next day, I got a phone call from someone asking if I could possibly meet with their CEO who would be about an hour from my house. I asked if she could tell me a bit more about the company because I hadn't a clue what she was talking about or what the job entailed. It was a sales job in the education field. I don't do sales so was very confused why in the heat of my stress, I thought it a good idea to apply for this particular position. I think it is sort of like having a black-out when drinking too much. I only remember bits and pieces of the applications and job searching.  When I mentioned this to one of my girlfriends she bluntly suggested it might be time I back off from applying.

I have to admit I am back at it.  In fact I applied for 4 jobs yesterday that are about an hour from my house. I do this with the thought that if I am a good enough candidate that surely they will let me work from home, right? Of course, I did work from home as an online developmental reading, writing and math instructor** and that did not work out well for me. So, why would I be searching for online positions you ask? Who knows! Why am I looking for any position when I probably will not go back to work until my kids are in school? However, if you know anyone looking for someone like me, please let me know:)

By the way, I just realized that this is not really a new thing for me. After all, I did buy the starter kit for selling Mary Kay in 1998 yet I am not a sales woman and I don't wear make-up.

*Yes, I am whining
** I did the au pair coordinator job for months and never made a dime. The online instructor job was so stressful and emotionally draining that it caused me to search for more jobs.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Whine Specialist...

Here is the thing: I am not a whine specialist. In fact, far from it. Instead I am impatient with the whining and not at all pleased with my parenting skills when it comes to dealing with my adorable little whiners. I need some serious improvement in that department which is what led me to writing this blog.  Well, the whining is one of many things. You see, I thought maybe if I put this out there, I might get some feedback that is helpful and that would help others at the same time. Plus, I love to talk so am hoping that can somehow translate into quality writing. A girl can dream, right?


So, about the title of my blog....While sitting in traffic on our way to a ferry to Okracoke Island in the Outer Banks, my husband and I were struggling with the whining coming from the back of the van. We had some skittles that came in the kids' overly processed Lunchables***.  My skills from teaching kicked in and I remembered how valuable rewarding kids can be. So, I started rewarding those brief moments when our children were not whining. This worked rather nicely and got us through about a 2 hour wait for a 40 minute ferry ride (not that I am whining).   Fast forward to the drive back to our beach house when the whining was in full swing and I was out of candy. An ad came on the radio for a wine specialist in the area and my husband started laughing. He suggested I start a blog and call it the Whine Specialist. I laughed, too. but it was one of those moments. You know those moments where you are stunned that your husband has read your thoughts or was it your email? Anyway, I have been contemplating blogging for some time but never mentioned it to him. I thought he would think it was a silly idea. He said, "You spend enough time on the internet. You could at least be doing something constructive."**** So, I just haven't been able to get it off the ground and my most recent excuse was that I needed a great name.  And just like that I had a name and there were no more excuses...so here I am. I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts as funny, neurotic and painfully honest as they may be.

So, today I head to the library to find a parenting book that deals with  handling whining. In the meantime, I am going to try silliness and see if that helps and maybe some candy.
Thanks for reading!

Andie

*** Purchased by my husband...when I saw them I commented that the kids were not going to eat them and I was correct which I loved. My kids don't do processed meat or cheese...they did eat the ritz crackers and the skittles. 
****My charming husband does not see the value of facebook or my obsession with applying for jobs I am never really going to take.