Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fundraiser!!!

We did it! We did it! We raised lots of money for Evy's trip to camp in March. I am so pleased with how it all turned out but I couldn't have done it without my wonderful volunteers! Thanks for all your help, love and support!!!

The fundraising continues with an online auction at this site:
momasteryauction.blogspot.com
Now, if you want some info on the other family/child that will benefit from this auction, please take a look here:
http://momastery.blogspot.com/2010/11/holiday-monkee-love.html

Thanks for reading and please start bidding:)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Leaky Sink

This has been a very long two weeks.The Hunk has been working very long hours, staying overnight at work and so I am exhausted and over it.  Anyway, on Tuesday Bear spilled my cup of tea that I made hours before but never got around to drinking. When I went to get a towel to clean it up, I picked up my baskets from under the sink and discovered that they were soaking wet. This is when I discovered the leaky sink. Of course, this was after normal business hours so I couldn't call a plumber. So, I cleaned up the mess made by my tea, and then tried to figure out where the leaking was coming from. When I discovered it, I put a pitcher underneath the sink to catch the water. 
Yesterday was a very stressful day. My girls love preschool but it knocks them out and without naps, they spent the day crying about things that normally would not matter to them. So, I was a bit overwhelmed and not paying all that close attention to what I was doing because I had one or both of my girls crying while clinging to my leg  or laying on the floor crying. Throughout all this fun,  I emptied the container repeatedly  because it was filling up rapidly.  Fast forward to this morning when I pulled out the pitcher to empty  and realized that all day yesterday I was emptying the pitcher into the leaking sink.....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Amazing...

I learned something amazing recently. On cool days, my children love to play in the car and pretend it is a bus, rocket ship or Star Wars ship. This provides me time to relax, sip coffee and read a good book. Now the amazing part... if one of these imaginative little Jedi puts coins into the cd and tape players of your car while playing in it, they will no longer work. Not only will they no longer work, but when you go over bumps or at any random time, the clock will suddenly change to 12:00 and the radio will switch to AM.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fall

I have missed my super soft, well-worn black sweats during the scorching months of summer but today I was able to pull them out of storage and slip them on. I may only be able to wear them for a few hours before the temperature goes back to the 80s but it will be a lovely few hours.They fit like a glove (though they may have fit less like a glove in the 5 years since I bought them...) and are perfect.  I want to wear these babies all day! Come on, cool temps! I have been waiting for you!

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Family Meeting

The Hunk and I made the decision that we want to start family meetings. We talked it over last night during our date night downtown. We discussed the format of the meeting and when we would do it. Hunk expressed that we needed a conch shell like in Lord of the Flies. I wasn't so sure and had a horrible flashback to pledging when our conch shell, during a heated meeting, was scissors...anyway, we gave it a whirl tonight without the conch:

Me: Are we going to do the Family thing?
Hunk: What?
Buddy: What family thing?
Hunk: Oh yeah a family meeting.
Buddy: I don't want to
Hunk: You can go to your room then
Me: I think the important part of the family meeting is that we are all together as a family (Hunk giving me the, "i don't know why I bother to speak to our children b/c you always think I am wrong" look)
I smiled sweetly and said, "So let's start."

We started our meeting with loads of praise for each child about things we had witnessed over the last week. Buddy's tune quickly changed about family meeting as he got a shy, yet proud, smile on his sweet little face.
Then we started talking about how well the girls did playing together and what a huge accomplishment it was for the Bear yesterday when she didn't cry at a bday party when the birthday girl wouldn't share a lollypop.
Zaz: Well, L gave me a lollypop but wouldn't give one to Bear. I didn't like my lollypop...
Hunk: During family meetings one person talks at a time (giving me the "I told ya so look" regarding the conch)
So we continued the praise and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
We pointed out that Bear had gone without a tantrum today and part of yesterday which is a huge accomplishment and that Zaz had played nicely with her sister all afternoon. Both of them, we pointed out, hadn't whined about anything for the entire day.
Zaz: I have a booboo right here (holding up her arm).
Hunk and I exchanged glances and smiled knowing that Zaz wasn't really sure about the purpose of this family meeting.  Okay really, she didn't get it....
Then we talked about problem areas:
1. Talking back (mainly Buddy but we talked about it at as a whole group)
2. Yelling  Screaming at siblings
During this discussion I said, "You guys need to stop yelling at each other and speak more kindly. Have you ever heard me yell at Daddy?" All three nodded yes and I realized I needed to quickly switch tactics. I explained that even people who love each other some times have arguments or disagreements but it was important to still be respectful (note to self stop raising voice at Hunk and vise versa). So, I said, "have you ever heard me scream at Daddy?" I held my breath for a minute for fear that I would see my little people shaking their heads yes at me. Thankfully, they were not. All three were saying no. Phew...
So we got the point across about no yelling and screaming about things and I did a few imitations of things I had heard recently. I was yelling and really getting into the part. Hunk suggested I close the window. I ignored him.
3. Toys on floor= chance to clean up= no pick-up equals toys in time out for one full day
4. Tantrums= alone time

Zaz interrupted throughout with stories about her life over the past 3 years and I realized we were starting to lose them. I knew I needed to act fast and get them engaged...

SO the teacher in me kicked in and I decided it was time for role play. I asked for a volunteer and Buddy quickly raised his hand. I had a flash of how eager he must be in his classroom. He got to be Hunk and I was the child. I asked for a popsicle, he said no and I started melting down and yelling, "I want a popsicle". I truly behaved as though I might lose my mind if I did not get a popsicle. Seriously, folks we are talking possible Academy Award nomination for best actress when Hunk ruined the moment and asked me to close the window. I ignored him, continued in my role as Bear and stormed upstairs bawling the entire time. I then came back down still crying and Buddy sent me back up until I could be calm.
We tried a few more scenarios and had them put their hand on their head if the child was behaving appropriately. They were full of  giggles as I played the role of dramatic child and they played the role of stern parent. All the while, Hunk looked totally confused at the direction our meeting had gone and reiterated the need to close the window and I quote, "You can be heard all the way in the cul-de-sac." SO????
We reviewed what we discussed, ate Oreos and ended the meeting on a positive note with everyone taking dinner dishes to the sink and heading upstairs for bath.

I think it was a successful first Family Meeting and really it went better than I imagined with a five year old and 2 three year olds!!

Our goal is to do it once a week BUT consistency is not our strong point...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

In Honor of Grandparents' Day!

My heart has been filled with longing lately for my Grandma Bess. I have been missing her terribly for no recognizable reason; I guess I am just feeling that void brought by her death.  And what a void it is.  I know everyone thinks their grandparent is special, but my grandma was more than special. She had a gift as a grandmother to make each of us feel valued and loved. Until I was in my early twenties, I was certain I was her favorite grandchild.  I was at a family party when it hit me; I looked around and saw so much joy and love in the room and realized every single grandchild probably thought they were her favorite*. She was that good. She made us feel loved by listening with respect, love and without judgement, but with opinion (always an opinion).  If she had 2 or 3 of us that would seem an easy task but she didn't; she had 26. Yes, 26 and each of us had a very unique and wonderfully special relationship with her! She showed us how to love each other and somehow kept us all connected.

Each time I saw her or spoke to her, she would give me an update on all my cousins which was one of my favorite parts of our talks. I would sit and listen to her stories of funny things that one did or said, of who had a new girlfriend or boyfriend, who had finished a race in record time or had done something she considered remarkable. She would be filled with such love and pride at the mention of each name.  Being with her filled me with awe and wonder at every meeting.

It has been nearly 6 years since she passed away and while the ache for her day to day gets less and less, it seems to arise most frequently now when I am struggling through something as a parent or wife or when I am experiencing a joy with my children that I want to share with her.  There have been countless times when I have wished she was still just a phone call away: when my kids met milestones, when Buddy started kindergarten this week,  when my sweet Bear, who is named for her, lets out a snort when laughing or when being silly (as she used to), and when I could just use a pick me up.  I miss the example she would have been for me as a mother and someday as a grandmother. I miss how she ended every phone conversation with "I love you" then followed with "God Bless". For now I keep her alive through memories and by sharing stories about her with friends,  my kids and now you.

The first time I brought Hunk to meet her, after the formalities of the introduction, the conversation went something like  this:
Grandma: Do you have a grandpa that looks anything like you and is with it?
Hunk (totally caught of guard and laughing): I do!
Grandma: Oh good!


Happy Grandparents Day, All!!!

Andie

* Cousins and siblings, if you don't agree with me on this, maybe I really WAS her favorite:)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Houston, We've had COMMUNICATION!!!

I know it is only day 3 of kindergarten but I am sitting here dying for some sort of feedback from the teacher. I mean no news is good news, right? BUT the control freak in me must know how he is doing... but I promised myself I could wait....okay not really....
So, I sent an email to the principal and Mrs. W about a grant Target is doing for field trips.  I didn't really do it so I could open the lines of communication but thought maybe....so, I got a thank you back to which I replied to Mrs. W about how much Buddy likes kindergarten so far....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....

I got an email back that said:

Buddy is a GREAT kid!!!!

That's right! I am a happy and proud Mama!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Importance of the Teacher




Yesterday as I sent my son off to kindergarten, I had so many mixed emotions but the most profound was the value of teachers. I was a teacher for years before staying home with my children and I loved every moment of it. I  thought it was a pretty important job but never considered it from the point of view of the parent because I wasn't one. As Buddy boarded the school bus with his backpack, embarrassment from my kisses and  a nervous glint in his eye, I realized the true importance of  a teacher from the perspective of the parent.

I know the insides of being a teacher because I did it for so many years. On so many levels it is a thankless job because a room full of 5 year olds doesn't think to tell you, "Great Job, Mrs. M! You are doing an excellent job teaching me to control myself, how to cope with missing my mommy, how to order lunch, where to put my belongings, how to stand in line, how to listen when others are speaking, how to be kind to my classmates, how to share my toys, and of course teaching me to read, do math, respect others, how to sit at story time, how to read a clock, a calendar and a watch and oh great job covering those standards." Instead, the students challenge teachers, bring joy, frustration and exhaustion to them  And then the parents  challenge the teachers, bring joy, frustration and exhaustion. And still the teachers come back day after day and year after year for more (in case you are wondering it isn't for the money).


So, as I put Aidan on that bus, I realized that Mrs. W will be taking over all the things that I am normally responsible for on a given day with my boy. It is her job to teach him, to make him feel loved, to help him get along with others, to inspire him, to make sure he is fed, makes it to the bathroom, washes his hands and learns.

I would love to write a letter to her that says:

Dear Mrs. W:
I feel so thankful that you have taken this enormous responsibility this year. I know we have only met once, but I am putting all my faith in you as you take my boy under your wing and help shape him into the person he will become. Let's make a deal. I may have to bite my tongue but I swear I won't nitpick or make you feel like you are not doing a good job. I am only here to help if you need it and I will consider you the expert about my child's academic progress, I will send things in for parties, help him get his homework done and, of course, advocate for him when necessary. And all I ask is that you not nitpick or make him feel like he is not doing a good job, be there to help when he needs it and help shape him into the amazing person he has the potential to be. Also, give him a little extra loving because he might miss me a bit since he has never been away from me for this long.

Thank you for taking this on. You are doing the most important job out there. And Buddy, Hunk and I truly appreciate your willingness to do this thankless job. You are appreciated.

Sincerely,
Andie

The greatest gift you can give a teacher is be their partner through support and recognition of all that the job entails.

(After I discovered this poem, I sent it home the first day of school each year...)
I dreamed I saw a studio and watched two sculptors there.
The clay they used was a child's mind
and they fashioned it with care.
One was a teacher- the tools she used
were books, music, and art.
The other, a parent, worked with a guiding hand,
and a gentle, loving heart.
Day after day, the teacher toiled with a touch
that was careful, deft, and sure.
While the parent labored by her side
and polished and smoothed it o'er
And when at last, their task was done,
They were proud of what they had wrought
for the things they molded into the child
could neither be sold nor bought.
And each agreed they would have failed
if either had worked alone.
For behind the parent stood the school
and behind the teacher, the home.


-Anonymous


Enjoy your school year:)






















Sunday, September 5, 2010

Mommy Doesn't (always) Negotiate with Terrorists



Terrorism is the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion. And while The White House claims to never negotiate with terrorists, not everyone is convinced this is truth.  The same is going on in this white house.

The terror used here is tantrums, whining and crying in order to coerce the victim (me, hunk or siblings) into something. While I do not face the likes of Osama bin Laden, I do face The Bear and, at times, I think bin Laden might be easier to deal with than my girl. Recently, I was accused of giving into terrorism in my home and I took great offense to this observation on many levels but that is for another post.
The reality is, we have a unique lifestyle that involves as much as 6 months of travel by The Hunk. So our lives can be very emotionally complicated. I deal with people missing their daddy, people angry at me for not making said daddy stay home and people confused over how they feel with their main man out of site. It isn't easy on anyone but we all do the best with what we have and make the most of it.  Sometimes, I give into terrorism. I do!  I admit it, but for the most part, I don't. Instead, I work on terrorism prevention but sometimes negotiations are inevitable if I want to sit down and enjoy my latest book or a glass of wine....

Terrorism Prevention

I attempt to prevent terrorism using strategies like my cotton ball system, ignoring the terrorist when they are making demands but some times negotiations, while frowned upon by my elders, is unavoidable.

Example of Unavoidable Negotiations:

Last night was one of those nights. Bear was exhausted as she often is due to a refusal to take naps and now sharing the room with her sister which has led to late night giggle and chat sessions. After the girls each "read" a book to me, I read one to them and put them in bed. Then I did it. I really did it. I sang Zaz's song to her first before I sang to Bear. I didn't know this was going to cause such a stir but boy did it. Bear lost it and I mean lost it. She screamed and cried because she wanted to be first but when the song is already sung what can one do? I can't sing Twinkle Twinkle backward to get the words back. Don't think I didn't consider it. So, instead I sang to Bear but she  didn't want to hear it. The drama got pretty bad with screams, cries, kicking the bed and so on.

Zaz started saying ,"I don't like the screaming." and plugging her ears. "Really?" I thought to myself, "I LOVE it!" And of course the screaming continued and finally I walked Zaz down to the playroom so she could be away from the screams that surely were not sounding anything like a lullaby. I told Zaz she could play until the Bear was done with her tantrum. Zaz had a joyful look in her eye because she knows her sister and knows her well and realized she may have just gotten herself an hour of playtime.

The Bear really lacks the skills to calm herself. I am not sure if that is because I have never given her the chance to learn them as my sweet husband implies, if it is just that she lacks the developmental skills to do so , if it is because she is a spirited child and has more passion than most or because she is simply a terrorist. I am going with the spirited child thing despite the fact that others  disagree (I am attending a parenting class next week about the spirited child).   Anyway, I went back to The Bear and rocked her, sang to her and held her only to have her scream even more and then  say that she wanted to go to the playroom, too.  In her little mind, it was one injustice after another* What to do?  Eventually, I calmed her with the promise that if she stopped screaming, she could walk with me to the playroom to get Zaz and bring her back to their room for bed. Remarkably, that worked.

Sadly, with Bear, I consider the above example a success.

It doesn't always work though. Some nights, like tonight, I am at a total loss. They are exhausted from a fun-filled day at the water park and are fighting and coming out of their room repeatedly with questions and demands when the only real answer is sleep. I can't help them get there. I sing to them, cuddle them, read to them, rock with them and so on but sometimes they just have to do it on their own and tonight is one of those nights.

I am signing up for a parenting seminar at a local children's museum to help guide handling my little terrorist. How do you handle tantrums especially when connected to exhaustion both by your child/children and yourself?
**Have I mentioned that this mama is off duty by 7:05 pm and so I needed to calm her and get her to bed.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Books...

I love reading more than any other activity except maybe drinking wine or martinis and talking about the books I have recently read. This year I have been struggling though with finding just the right book. My girlfriend Joyce recently stated it perfectly in her facebook status:


I hate finishing a good book. Not ready to crack open a new one and start over. Stuck in reflection and the loss of the anticipation of finding out what happens next.


I have been in and out of this state since I finished The Help in February. It moved me more than any other book in recent memory by making me reflect on relationships, myself, attitudes, civil rights and so much more that I couldn't bear to start a new book. What this book did for me is really unbelievable. In addition to raising my awareness of the history of our country and the complicated relationships between women in the south, it also totally changed my reading habits. Suddenly, I started reading books and if they didn't capture my attention immediately I gave up. I had never done this before. I always finished what I started.  I even started books that people told me were wonderful: Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, Three Cups of Tea, The Zookeepers Wife, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest and The Places in Between but none of them grabbed me.  

Finally, I found the book Still Alice and it moved me beyond The Help by inspiring me to look back on my amazing Grandpa Steve who had Alzheimer's and passed away nearly 20 years ago. As most grandparents do, he had a special place in my heart. He was my pen pal when I was little, had an amazing collection of wind-up toys that only he could take out, he dressed up as Santa every year, and sadly, in the end, was very confused. Because of this, I loved the perspective of this book.  It truly opened my eyes to this horrible illness and left me feeling that, even through it all, my grandpa still felt love for all of us in the end. That book is still with me because I  found it so powerful and personal.  It is a must read for anyone who has or had a family member with Alzheimer's. 

Then I found The Hunger Games series and was hooked but not moved. It was fun and totally worth the read but after the powerful stories of Still Alice and The Help, these did not compare. Now I am finished with the Hunger Games and looking for the next novel to capture my attention. I know that every book I read doesn't have to move me as The Help and Still Alice have, but it is hard to really enjoy a book now that I have experienced these stories. 
Now what? Any suggestions? What books have moved you? Please share!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My computer needs a new motherboard...won't be writing anytime soon.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Minister's Wife

I am not sure how many of you have seen Borat, but my husband likened experiences we have been having with our girls over the last few years to this scene:


Borat: [indicates women beside him] In my country, they would go crazy for these two. 
[points to minister's wife] 
Borat: This one... not so much... 


It would seem The Bear is the minister's wife. Don't get me wrong, she is beautiful and an amazing little person but for some reason, The Zaz attracts all the attention. People stop us constantly to admire her haircut, hair color, adorableness, etc. even with her sister standing right there. I have countless examples of this since Zaz's white blonde hair grew in and she learned to giggle and bat her eyelashes at any willing passerby. 

While on vacation, an older gentleman stopped me and pointed to Zaz, who was shoulder to shoulder with Bear:

Nice Man: You are going to have trouble with that one in about 12 years.
Me: Smile
Nice Man: I have been there with the blonde hair blue eyed girl. Look out.
Me: Even worse, she is a twin so we will have two of them. 
Nice Clueless Man: Blah blah look out, She is going to be a looker chuckle chuckle
Me: Yes, and just think we will have two beautiful teenage girls.
Nice Man (finally snapping out of his oblivion): Oh, yes all of your children are adorable. 
Me: Smile


This theme is very common and I experience it regularly but my husband doesn't because he normally has one at a time for "special dates" or we are all out as a family.  Today he took both girls out for a breakfast date.  He had the pleasure of experiencing something like I do every time we head out. 
Person to Zaz: Oh look at you and your beautiful bow! OH and THAT Hair oh my
Hunk: Smile
Person: Oh my gosh isn't she cute?
Hunk referencing the Bear: Yes, and her sister has a cute headband on, too.
Person: Oh yes.
Done. 


I think some of this probably sinks in for The Bear and worry that  if this is a continuing trend, her self-esteem may be impacted in the long run. It probably doesn't help that Bear is socially more cautious and more challenging. She doesn't warm as easily to people and never has (right before 7 months, she started with separation issues. Our pediatrician jokingly said she was gifted b/c of it). People naturally favor Zaz b/c she is easier over all which is really difficult to watch as a parent.  Even when some people visit, their favoritism is evident (and heartbreaking).  


My husband and I joked about how we can respond to these situations. 
Our response to a couple admiring Zaz could be something like this:
Couple: Oh Honey, look at her and that hair! Isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen?
Us: Thank you
Couple: She is so cute! Look out!
Us to the woman: You are gorgeous
Us to the man: Not so much 
And walk away. 


How would you handle it?



Saturday, August 21, 2010

Touche

We went to a party yesterday at the home of a work friend of my husband. One of the guys commented on how great The Hunk's new tattoo looks. Thinking I was funny, I said, "Yes, if you like that sort of thing." To which he replied,"Yes I do" and pointed to his leg where he had the exact same tattoo. I then looked around and realized that I was surrounded by men with the exact same tattoo and should probably keep my wise cracks to myself.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Keyboard

I am taking my computer ˆn tomorrow. Let me just say t˙ˆs:

I cannot stand †˙at my computer ˆs not ∑orking properly. It makes ˆt very difficult †o do µy freelance writing ∆ob, no? Óelp!!

T˙is is w˙y I am not writing µuc˙!

A

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Language Development

One of my favorite things to watch develop in my children is language. From the first goos and coos to the first words my heart soars with joy and love for the incredible little people in my life.  One of the joys of parenting twins has been watching my girls make their way through each stage of development in their own time. How differently these little people approach everything amazes me.

Bear accomplished all milestones before Zaz though both are on target developmentally. Now that they have acquired most of their language and sounds, Zaz is more ahead in the sense that Bear still can't say k and g sounds in words. So, I am working with Bear on tongue placement to create the sounds  . If she wants candy***, it comes out tandy and she sounds like Buckwheat when she says Okay.
This is what we have been doing:

Bear: I want to play a dame.
Me: You want to play a g-g-game?
Bear: g-g-g dame
Me: Try again
Bear: g-g-g dame
Me: dreat! You dot the g sound (I don't really say it like that)

Some times what she says is not as obvious. For example, tonight she asked to read the dumb book. I paused and was clearly confused. Before I could give a mini-lecture on not saying the word dumb:
Bear: gdumb
Me: gum?
Bear: Yes, ggggggdum
I racked my brain and realized she meant Alexander and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day because (not to ruin it) Alexander gets gum in his hair.
We've been working on the sounds for a while now and she is trying so hard to get it right which gets her lots of kudos!

Tonight, I had a conversation with Zaz:

Zaz: You member the piggy glasses I weared on (va)cation?
Me: Piggy glasses?
Zaz: P-p-p-piggy glasses (see side picture)


Have a great night!
A
**** Not that I EVER give my kids candy

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Speaking in Code

My computer lost t˙e ability to type certain letters. So I will not be posting until I get ˆt figured out. Until t˙en, ˙øpe you are ˙aving a ©ood weekend!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Organization Part 2

I just got a call from my friend, K, from Organization Part 1. She has no recollection of the conversation detailed in the post. I find this very convenient but that aside, we did have a good laugh over this particular move. You see, I was only moving to another apartment on the same street so we actually put my mattress on the roof of my car and one of us drove while the other one held onto the mattress. This is, of course, another perfect example of how I was too unorganized to have anything to hold down the mattress except, of course, my girl, K!

So back to things having a home.... I could not keep things organized when it was just me and my dog, Logan but add toys to the mix and it is not looking good. Toys in our house seem lost and always searching for a home. Because I recognize this as a huge problem, when we recently went on vacation, our wonderful sitter stayed with the dog and the house. Her assignment was to take toys out of circulation that the kids seldom play with. When we got home I went from room to room and was appalled. Super Sitter had not done what we asked which was strange because she is super reliable. The next day when I was returning my suitcase to the attic, I walked into the spare bedroom that leads into the attic. Before me was 5ft by 3 ft of toys that had been pulled from the rooms. First, I couldn't believe I ever doubted Super sitter (Forgive me, Em!) and second, I couldn't believe the reality that my children have so many toys that I did not even notice that these were gone.

Where did we go wrong? How in the world did we wind up with this many toys in the spare room and with loads STILL in the bedrooms and playroom? We seldom purchase toys for the kids and when we do, it is items we know they will love.  We have begged people to give money toward college funds and last year even tried to have people donate money to a cause we believe in  but only one family went along with it. Everyone else said, "How could we possibly show up at a two-year old bday without a gift?" Um very easily, folks, Haven't you seen all the JUNK we have???"

In our playroom we have two little closets that we can store things in. One of them is Buddy's workshop which is filled with tape, scissors, cardboard and other recyclables. The other one stored books so I recently made a book corner in the playroom and am  now working on highlighting a different toy or group of toys each week. So, this week  I created a hair salon and Buddy and the girls have had a blast with it.  I think next week I am going to make a Little People village or a workshop with all the tools we have.

This is one of my first steps at organizing the toys. So I would suggest following these steps:
1. Pull toys not played with
2. Highlight toys that the kids use but not that often to make them exciting
3. Accept that the plastic has taken over your home.

More organizational tips to come from the LEAST unorganized woman around.

A

Whiny Wednesday

I don't know if there is less whining going on but I do know that I have been called ma'am numerous times this week by Aidan, have not had to clear any plates from any meals and have not had any demands for cotton balls since the first few days. AND they filled up their little jars countless times and filled the entire jar up with cotton balls which led to a group reward! We had a late night (6-8 PM) swim at our pool last night which was loads of fun! I played shark with all the kids which made for a wonderful evening filled with giggles.

So, I need to explore some other options for dealing with the whining. The mean mama in me wants to take away cotton balls for whining but that doesn't seem fair. I guess I will just have to do some research and figure out another whine stopper.

 Hope you are having a good week!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Organization Part 1

I have a confession to make. My lack of organization has nothing to do with my having three kids. It really has to do with my brain. I swear the stinking thing does not believe in organization AT ALL. You see, organization is not my strong suit. Anyone who has ever lived with me or opened a closet, cupboard or drawer in my home can attest to this sad fact. I am going to spend a few posts making up excuses for this huge flaw of mine. I am lucky because I have been given suggestions through the years from loved ones: everything must have a home,  clean-up and put away as you go and have the kids help.

Everything must have a home:

I totally get this concept and strive to make it happen BUT since I don't pick up as I go, it is very difficult. Let's just say the house is a disaster (everyday but 2 days each month), I don't usually allow myself enough time to clean up on any given day whether we are having someone over, the cleaning people are coming or we are moving.  As a result,  I just start shoving things any place there is space that people (hopefully) won't see.  Let me give you a real life example of this. Once, in my single days, while moving, one of my dearest friends, K, was helping me move. I was shoving random things that I had not put "in their home" into my pockets. I looked up to see her with a disgusted look on her face. Seriously, disgusted because she is SUPER organized. You know the type. She LOVES lists.

Me (in my sweetest voice): What?
K: Are you freaking kidding me?
Me (in my most wounded voice): What?
K: You are just shoving sh$# in your pockets rather than putting it in a box or something?
Me: Not a good idea?
K did an eye roll, head shake and left the room. I continued shoving.

So the problem is obviously multi-level but the struggle is stopping the cycle. Where does all this random stuff go that is weighing me down both figuratively and literally? Once I shove things in my pockets, a basket, a closet or drawer to get it out of sight, it is just too overwhelming for me to look at let alone organize so I don't.  Then suddenly, every inch of my home is totally unorganized.

And so, I am now trying to get this under control once and for all.

A


Friday, August 6, 2010

Using My Teaching Skills

This week I decided to do lessons with my kids everyday. I do have my MEd in Reading so it would make sense that I would apply some of this knowledge and these skills to my parenting. I shared this with my loving husband and the conversation went something like this:

Me (In need of positive reinforcement and kudos): The kids had so much fun today doing the activities. Isn't it great? (Translation: Tell me how amazing I am as a mother and educator)

Hunk with a big mischievous smile: It's about time you use your masters.

Me: Seriously?

Well, that didn't go exactly as I hoped but at least he acknowledged that I am using my degree.

Anyway, we have dappled in journal writing this summer but I am not terribly consistent with activities of this sort and haven't a clue where the journals are at this point. So, this week I scrambled each morning to come up with a fun activity to do with the kids that would some how be multi-level since Buddy is on his way to kindergarten and the ladies are only going to be in 3s at preschool. It actually brought me back to my days of teaching when I would not have planned as well as I thought leaving me  scrambling at 7 am to put together the best lesson possible. Just like when in the classroom, I was surprised by how much the kids and I enjoyed it. It was fun, stress free and gave me that charge that teaching always did. We did songs, pictures, practiced writing, made pom pom animals and read many books. The first day went something like this:

Me: Who wants to read a book with me?
Zaz: Why is it time to go to sweep (sleep)?

Okay, I must admit that in my mind I am thinking that this is not off to the best start. Surely, I read at other times throughout the day. Don't I?

So then we read a very basic book about bugs which Buddy was able to help read. The book had lots of picture cues and was great for an early reader. Next we made pom pom animals which required using a hot glue gun which I let Buddy use on his own. I know! I know! It is dangerous and the package of the gun probably said that it wasn't to be used by children under 10, but it makes him feel like such a big boy. And it doesn't hurt that much when you get burned. I should know; while gluing Zaz's beautiful ladybug's head on, I burned myself:

Me: Doggone it (don't judge me, folks. I know this is an absurd expression but I nearly said something that was very offensive).
The Zaz: There's a dog on it?

Day 2 went very well also. We did a song about bugs and colors which  provided practice with rhyming, colors and writing. Each of them had a chance to pretend to be a bug hiding under the rug (a blanket) which they came up with on their own. These type of activities are such a great reminder to me that my kids are all so different. The Bear and Buddy both understood that their pictures and sentences were to be from the poem but sweet Zazzy doesn't really understand rhyming so the whole time she kept saying the bug was under the carpet. Now, carpet is a great vocabulary word but doesn't rhyme with bug.  Since she is so cute, I just let it go and her colorful bugs were hiding under the carpet.

Day 3: Aidan was over it. When I said it was time to "play school", he melted down and said he didn't want to do it. I didn't feel like fighting the battle but reminded him that type of behavior was not cotton ball worthy. The girls practiced writing letters and I read books (tons of them and it wasn't even time to go to sweep!). Then I became the student and they became the teachers. Aidan peered in regularly to see what we were doing and finally joined us.

After he was in the playroom for all of 10 seconds, I realized he had no interest in what we were doing. He was trying to lovingly talk me into letting him use my computer.  I told him he could use the computer after he did one activity for me that involved reading and writing, and 15 minutes of computer games of my choice. Once he completed these tasks,   he could go to the Legos website and stare at all the Star Wars ships he wants. It worked well, he surprised himself by reading a few of the words I introduced to him on Day 2 and he even earned a cotton ball or two for his effort.

Today we are taking a mental health day from mom's school.

Have a great weekend!
A

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Applying for Jobs Part 2

I just discovered something very entertaining and Miss Molly suggested I share it. I have been using the same resume for a few months now and thought it was a decent one. After all, I get calls and emails though things have been a bit slower than usual. Tonight I applied to a job that required a resume upload and then it showed the resume to allow you to make sure it looked the way you want it to look.  Well guess what? Mine didn't.
I wrote my resume using a template but for some reason didn't realize it until I saw this:


«First» «Last»
«Address»
  «Address» «Address»
T «Phone»

Just like that on the top of my resume. I never put in my information.
Of course, this explains why a potential employer told me that she couldn't find my phone number anywhere on my resume. On a not so funny note, I really wanted a job I applied for today that looked great! And I am sure they won't consider me with my obvious typo. Oh well! 

Oh and you know the whole deal with me thinking yesterday was Wednesday? Well, when the potential employer from yesterday told me she would be able to talk with me over the phone any day but Thursday, I told her Friday would work for me because I thought that was my only option for this week. 

Anyone Know Anything About Fundraising?

I have an amazing new friend, Jill. We met one time last fall and then didn't see each other again until April. The reason for the 8 months in between visits is that between our initial meeting and  seeing each other in April, her now 2 year old daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer.    
Jill has become a very important person to me through our sporadic visits, me stalking her blog, and our chats via email. As a result,  I feel very strongly about helping her sweet family (are you blushing, Jill? I love you to pieces:) ).
As Evy undergoes treatment to kick cancer's a&*, they shouldn't have to worry about medical expenses.   Right now, I am planning a fundraiser for them but honestly have never done one (Don't worry, Jill! I promise to pull it off)! I volunteered and helped with one during my days with RESOLVE  but nothing beyond that. So, if anyone has any suggestions, they would be appreciated.What I have so far is a band to play at the fundraiser and a local photographer  and in-home bakery willing to donate things for a silent auction or raffle. I still need more items for silent auction and a venue. Any suggestions on how to pull it off or better yet anyone want to help?  The money earned from the fundraiser will go to them through an amazing organization called The Cure Starts Now and therefore is tax deductible.

Who wouldn't want to help this happy little face?

Yesterday's Post

So, yesterday was Tuesday not Wednesday which I am sure you all realized. I spent the day thinking it was Wednesday which is why I called yesterday's post "Whiny Wednesday"! I am actually giggling at the absurdity of it but I always say that as a stay at home mom, I really don't know what day it is because they are all the same!!

Andie

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Whiny Wednesday

Here we are and it is time for an update on how I am dealing with the whining. I decided to start a reward system that involves each child having a cup that will be filled with cotton balls. When the cup is filled to the top,  they get a reward. Then at the end of the day, the cotton balls in the individual cups will go into a group jug which will help them earn a group reward like all going out for ice cream.

I introduced it yesterday morning. I presented each of the whiners with a cup to decorate which had his/her name on it.  This would seem like a simple, yet exciting moment when they realize there is potential to be rewarded for good behavior.  This is how it played out:


I told my buddy what we were going to do with lots of enthusiasm and he started whining that he did not like the idea AT ALL  and threw himself down on the couch and began to cry.

Then I explained it to The Bear who seemed to be on board. The oldest of the whiners (buddy) finally came around and decorated his cup along with The Bear.
Can you tell I just cleaned the kitchen? No, seriously that is clean.

While all of this was going on, The Zaz was upstairs cleaning which means she was just piling things on surfaces like shelves and into bins. Helpful in some ways but not so helpful in others especially when you are dealing with dirty and clean clothes. Anyway, she came down, saw the cups and I explained the process to her. When we got back upstairs, I complemented her on her hard work and told her she would be getting cotton balls for being such a good helper. It went like this:
Me: You did such a great job helping up here! I am so proud of you. I am going to put some cotton balls in the cup!
The Zaz: And then I get to eat them?

Before I could respond to this question, The Bear said she wanted cotton balls so I told her she could have some if she helped and gave her some options of things to do to help.
None of them seemed to interest her because she started whining that she wanted cotton balls immediately which eventually turned to demanding screams.

We are off to a great start over here!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Applying for Jobs

Half of my followers (2 of you!!!) have expressed an interest in hearing more about the hows and whys of applying for jobs I have no intention of taking.  This will require a great deal of background information so bear with me...

When the hunk and I met and started dating, I expressed my desire to be a stay-at-home mom once I had children (of course, in my mind I was thinking when WE have children). He said he didn't think that it would make me happy. Being as crazy as I am, I quickly went from fantasizing about the children we would have together to thinking, "Who the heck does this guy think he is? He has known me for all of two weeks and he knows what I want out of life?" It has been over 12 years since this conversation and I still feel a bit annoyed by it...so I have some issues letting go of things...Anyway, he was right.

I am a stay-at-home mom and have been since Buddy was born in 2005, but I am always searching for something more. I started my MEd in 2005 and finished it a month before my girls were born in 2007. This was one of the best times in my stay-at-home mom days. I was challenged intellectually, had something for myself AND was able to hang with my little man. When my girls were born, I was consumed with my children for some time. Honestly,  I was drowning in screaming babies, tantrums and, what felt like, numbness of the brain. I fantasized about having papers due that I would get an A on.  I mentioned to the hunk that I thought maybe I should get my PhD which was greeted with the suggestion that we pay off my masters first.  I hate when he is right. That was when I wound up beginning the search.

Let me go off on a quick tangent.  I do love my whiners dearly but being home with them is really not easy for me. My husband travels about 6 months out of the year so I am often alone for days at a time without seeing another adult. If someone gets sick during this time period, forget it! I am stranded and have a tendency to not reach out as much as I should for fear of seeming needy. This of course leaves me appearing strong. While I am strong, I am also desperate for intellectual stimulation*.  Back to the topic at hand....the search  or should I say searches?

It started at the height of my parenting stress. I don't remember the day specifically but am pretty certain I was alone with the kids, had a stressful day and got on the net. I know it began because I  started imagining what it would be like to do something in addition to diapers, breastfeeding, and tantrums. It started innocently enough but then I began spending a great deal of time on craigslist, career builder, indeed and monster. I started searching and searching for anything in the education field.  In the height of my stress, I was applying for up to 10 jobs a week. Some times they would be jobs that I would never have a shot at and sometimes they would be perfect. I have filled out countless online forms, completed online interviews, phone interviews and even a few face-to-face interviews. I have received emails from companies asking if I am still interested in the position for which I applied a month before only to have no recollection of what the company or job is because there have been so many applications since then. I have actually gone on craigslist in all major cities and selected "telecommute" to see what comes up of interest.

My applications always come to a halt when someone I love suggests I should stop. For example, when going on and on about a curriculum writing position that would have been perfect, my husband reminded me that he was about to leave for an extended business trip and that we had twins I was exclusively breastfeeding and a 3 year old, that all three of them would require childcare and that it might be hard to be an hour away from them everyday. Did I mention I hate when he is right?  I was disappointed and let the company know that I would not be able to go for an interview.

I backed off on the job applications for a bit and then it inevitably started again. I remember being at a playdate and mentioning that I had applied to numerous jobs the night before and 2 of my friends chuckled and asked where in the world I found all these jobs. I am still pretty sure they were laughing at how crazy I was. This particular phase of job searching did find me some freelance writing for www.education.com and then a job as an au pair coordinator*.

About six months ago, I was applying like crazy. I got an email from the director of some organization letting me know they were very interested and was I? Of course, I had no idea who she was or what she was talking about. Then the next day, I got a phone call from someone asking if I could possibly meet with their CEO who would be about an hour from my house. I asked if she could tell me a bit more about the company because I hadn't a clue what she was talking about or what the job entailed. It was a sales job in the education field. I don't do sales so was very confused why in the heat of my stress, I thought it a good idea to apply for this particular position. I think it is sort of like having a black-out when drinking too much. I only remember bits and pieces of the applications and job searching.  When I mentioned this to one of my girlfriends she bluntly suggested it might be time I back off from applying.

I have to admit I am back at it.  In fact I applied for 4 jobs yesterday that are about an hour from my house. I do this with the thought that if I am a good enough candidate that surely they will let me work from home, right? Of course, I did work from home as an online developmental reading, writing and math instructor** and that did not work out well for me. So, why would I be searching for online positions you ask? Who knows! Why am I looking for any position when I probably will not go back to work until my kids are in school? However, if you know anyone looking for someone like me, please let me know:)

By the way, I just realized that this is not really a new thing for me. After all, I did buy the starter kit for selling Mary Kay in 1998 yet I am not a sales woman and I don't wear make-up.

*Yes, I am whining
** I did the au pair coordinator job for months and never made a dime. The online instructor job was so stressful and emotionally draining that it caused me to search for more jobs.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Whine Specialist...

Here is the thing: I am not a whine specialist. In fact, far from it. Instead I am impatient with the whining and not at all pleased with my parenting skills when it comes to dealing with my adorable little whiners. I need some serious improvement in that department which is what led me to writing this blog.  Well, the whining is one of many things. You see, I thought maybe if I put this out there, I might get some feedback that is helpful and that would help others at the same time. Plus, I love to talk so am hoping that can somehow translate into quality writing. A girl can dream, right?


So, about the title of my blog....While sitting in traffic on our way to a ferry to Okracoke Island in the Outer Banks, my husband and I were struggling with the whining coming from the back of the van. We had some skittles that came in the kids' overly processed Lunchables***.  My skills from teaching kicked in and I remembered how valuable rewarding kids can be. So, I started rewarding those brief moments when our children were not whining. This worked rather nicely and got us through about a 2 hour wait for a 40 minute ferry ride (not that I am whining).   Fast forward to the drive back to our beach house when the whining was in full swing and I was out of candy. An ad came on the radio for a wine specialist in the area and my husband started laughing. He suggested I start a blog and call it the Whine Specialist. I laughed, too. but it was one of those moments. You know those moments where you are stunned that your husband has read your thoughts or was it your email? Anyway, I have been contemplating blogging for some time but never mentioned it to him. I thought he would think it was a silly idea. He said, "You spend enough time on the internet. You could at least be doing something constructive."**** So, I just haven't been able to get it off the ground and my most recent excuse was that I needed a great name.  And just like that I had a name and there were no more excuses...so here I am. I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts as funny, neurotic and painfully honest as they may be.

So, today I head to the library to find a parenting book that deals with  handling whining. In the meantime, I am going to try silliness and see if that helps and maybe some candy.
Thanks for reading!

Andie

*** Purchased by my husband...when I saw them I commented that the kids were not going to eat them and I was correct which I loved. My kids don't do processed meat or cheese...they did eat the ritz crackers and the skittles. 
****My charming husband does not see the value of facebook or my obsession with applying for jobs I am never really going to take.