Sunday, September 12, 2010

In Honor of Grandparents' Day!

My heart has been filled with longing lately for my Grandma Bess. I have been missing her terribly for no recognizable reason; I guess I am just feeling that void brought by her death.  And what a void it is.  I know everyone thinks their grandparent is special, but my grandma was more than special. She had a gift as a grandmother to make each of us feel valued and loved. Until I was in my early twenties, I was certain I was her favorite grandchild.  I was at a family party when it hit me; I looked around and saw so much joy and love in the room and realized every single grandchild probably thought they were her favorite*. She was that good. She made us feel loved by listening with respect, love and without judgement, but with opinion (always an opinion).  If she had 2 or 3 of us that would seem an easy task but she didn't; she had 26. Yes, 26 and each of us had a very unique and wonderfully special relationship with her! She showed us how to love each other and somehow kept us all connected.

Each time I saw her or spoke to her, she would give me an update on all my cousins which was one of my favorite parts of our talks. I would sit and listen to her stories of funny things that one did or said, of who had a new girlfriend or boyfriend, who had finished a race in record time or had done something she considered remarkable. She would be filled with such love and pride at the mention of each name.  Being with her filled me with awe and wonder at every meeting.

It has been nearly 6 years since she passed away and while the ache for her day to day gets less and less, it seems to arise most frequently now when I am struggling through something as a parent or wife or when I am experiencing a joy with my children that I want to share with her.  There have been countless times when I have wished she was still just a phone call away: when my kids met milestones, when Buddy started kindergarten this week,  when my sweet Bear, who is named for her, lets out a snort when laughing or when being silly (as she used to), and when I could just use a pick me up.  I miss the example she would have been for me as a mother and someday as a grandmother. I miss how she ended every phone conversation with "I love you" then followed with "God Bless". For now I keep her alive through memories and by sharing stories about her with friends,  my kids and now you.

The first time I brought Hunk to meet her, after the formalities of the introduction, the conversation went something like  this:
Grandma: Do you have a grandpa that looks anything like you and is with it?
Hunk (totally caught of guard and laughing): I do!
Grandma: Oh good!


Happy Grandparents Day, All!!!

Andie

* Cousins and siblings, if you don't agree with me on this, maybe I really WAS her favorite:)

5 comments:

  1. Well, from a daughter-in-law perspective, I believe everything you said to be true and accurate. Bess had a gift, and she shared it with everyone....joy. Brenda Remis

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  2. Well done Andrea ! I just visited with Aunt Mary ( Bess's younger sister). When I left I felt a lot like I had just been with my mom ! They were 10 years apart yet share many of the same mannerisms! I often am amazed when I gaze around the room at a family gathering and see a litttle bit of my Dad here and my Mom over there...even more so now that we are getting older !

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  3. I enjoyed your post about your grandmother. I have children ages 31-19 and am ready any time for the grandchildren from the older ones (two are married). But of course, they won't hear that from me! When it's right for them, they will have children. What you wrote inspired me to be the best grandma- LIKE yours. (because of course, I could never surpass that!)

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  4. Awww, so sweet! And I can't believe she had 26 grandchildren! Wow!!

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